Fizzle

In accordance to most traditions of life, the mundane takes root, and what you pre-suppose to be spectacular, just fizzle off with nary a whimper. My mentor has left for London for a well deserved break, and the associates are finishing off some painful deal, so here I am, probably the free-est person on my level. It gives a new spin to the phrase "winding down".

Even after watching how the (self-proclaimed "small fry") associates work until 2am and come in at 7am just to finish up some deal, I'm still more than convinced that FSD is what I would do, if (and that is a big IF) I actually practice (Peijing's words always ring very clearly in my head because I remember her scolding me when i said "screw that law degree". Precisely, study so hard for what.) I am filling up some survey form now, the one that I have to hand in on my last day, which happens tomorrow, before I get my paycheck. Looking back, I really enjoyed my stint here, although so many people have told me this firm, and especially my department, is a workhouse. I mean, I actually get adrenaline rushes when I get work at 5pm (and I want to clear them as soon as possible so I can knock off at 6 and join my mates for dinner), its not that work keeps me alive, its just that i don't mind it. Its nice doing what I am doing now (come to work, surf internet, go library and read newspapers, chat with the associates etc) but really, i'd rather work. It makes me feel more productive and alive (get back to me when I am actually working and I will be whining about how dying I am, which is my mentor's pet phrase. "I am so dying".) I guess I'm like that. When I have (too much) work, I complain. When I do not have work, I complain as well. Such true blue ingaporean spirit in me would be hard to exorcise. I admit, we are all spoilt and should learn to be content.

Ok fine. I am content slacking here and waiting for the clock to turn 6 so I can go get some good ramen for dinner. I can't imagine how i'd be when I actually start working. Brat.