Left behind in shreds

03:06AM

The discovery of an unassuming cardboard box.

The opening of old letters.

The memory of what we left behind.

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What we used to be..
What i used to believe
What i used to concern myself about

No, this isn't about my past love. More than that, its about who i was, everything that i went through. Reading my old diaries and viewing old correspondences (notes we wrote to each other during class), i felt a certain detatchment, as if i was reading someone else's diary. Someone so precocious, so eager to please, so concerned about everything. Nonetheless, this isn't jadedness with the world. I have not given this much thought, but perhaps the years between 1997 and 2004 i have somehow found peace with myself. It was nothing as exciting as the "self-discovery" process heralded by so many books.. i guess it involved alot of knocks, alot of issues overcame, and yes they were issues, painful and dramatic as they were, coupled with acceptance that i perhaps might not be the perfect darling of the world. yes, no one has to like me except myself, and in realising that, i have closed the chapter of insecurity in my life, perhaps ending the dark ages of self-doubt, endless worries and needless reflections.

Nope, i'm not saying i've morphed into something perfect... I have just stopped kicking myself about not being the school jock, the school hunk, the famous musician, or the the brilliant scientist. I am me, and cheers to that. Now only if i can get to sleep.

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